Death and Dying

According to Kubler-Ross' theory, there are 5 different stages of grief. These are more commonly known as: DABDA. 

(I don't wanna open my book anymore regarding Kubler-Ross' theory; so I'd just get stuffs from wikipedia just to give my point and my blog substance. Click here for more in wikipedia.)

DENIAL — "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."

Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of possessions and individuals that will be left behind after death.

ANGER — "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"

Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy.

BARGAINING — "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..."

The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just do something to buy more time..."

DEPRESSION  — "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die soon so what's the point... What's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"

During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.

ACCEPTANCE — "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."

In this last stage, individuals begin to come to terms with their mortality, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event.

(My thoughts start from this point.)

It is not necessary that a person undergoes the stages chronologically like, Denial first, Anger second, and so on. One may be on the Denial stage, and is also Bargaining. It is also not necessary that a person has to undergo everything of the DABDA stages, as one may not go through Depression. As I remember, for sure, Acceptance go last.

With due respect to Kubler-Ross, I would like to propose two more stages. Let's make it DABDATH. I agree and would not alter DABDA as Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance; for these are natural and human responses to death and dying. And as human as we are, these additions are, as well, essential.

First off, TRUST. Trust in the Lord that this is His wisdom. We maybe losing our earthly life, or the life of our loved one, but, let us trust God that this is His will. This is God's perfect timing. We may not be able to understand it now, yet we are assured of His love. 

Last proposal, HOPE. Hope that the Lord is up to something good. Romans 82:8 says, "We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose." Let us hope that in the end we will all enjoy eternity with God in his Heavenly Kingdom.

We believe in the communion of saints.

We believe in the resurrection of the dead.

We believe in life everlasting.

Amen.

May the souls of tito Felix, lolo Ato, lolo Ardie, lola Basi, tito Rory, and tito Ellie, and the souls of all the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace. Amen.

And here's a song for all of us...

In pain or in happiness

In abundance or in absence

I will praise Your Name

In triumph of defeat

In sickness or in health

I will praise Your Name

For You said, You know well the plans You have for me

Plans for my welfare and not for my woe

Plans You give to me a future full of hope

When I pray to You, You listen to me

I cling to Your promise, my God


*Bible verses in here are from the New American Bible.