Planning Ahead

The best gift anyone can give me this new year is a planner.
I like planners because I am a planner.
I like thinking ahead.
I like being prepared.
I get a high from being on top of things.
But some things are beyond planning.
And life doesn't always turn out as planned.

You don't plan for a broken heart.
You don't plan for a failed business venture.
You don't plan for an adulterous husband.
Or a wife who wants you out of her life.
You don't plan for an autistic child.
You don't plan for spinsterhood.
You don't plan for a lump in your breast.

You plan to be young forever.
You plan to climb the corporate ladder.
You plan to be rich and powerful.
You plan to be acclaimed and successful.
You plan to conquer the universe.
You plan to fall in love - and be loved forever.

You don't plan to be sad.
You don't plan to be hurt.
You don't plan to be broke.
You don't plan to be betrayed.
You don't plan to be alone in this world.

You plan to be happy.
You don't plan to be shattered.
Sometimes if you work had enough, you can get what you want.
But most times, what you want and what you get are two different things.

We, mortals, plan. But so does GOD in the heavens.

Sometimes, it is difficult to understand GOD's plans especially when His plans are not in consonance with ours.
Often, when GOD sends us crisis, we turn to Him in anger.
True, we cannot choose the cross that GOD wishes us to carry, but we can carry that cross with courage knowing that GOD will never abandon us nor send something we cannot cope with.

Sometimes, GOD breaks our spirit to save our soul.
Sometimes, He breaks our heart to make us whole.
Sometimes, GOD sends us pain so we can be stronger.
Sometimes, GOD sends us failure so we can be humble.
Sometimes, GOD sends us illness so we can take better care of ourselves.
Sometimes, GOD takes everything away from us so we can learn the value of everything He gave us.

Make plans but understand that we live by GOD's grace.

Note: Got this somewhere. Not mine.

John 15:13

Shall I or shall I not?

Huwag na lang. Hindi na.

If this is Jesus', what would he do?

I don't know.

But what has he done?

Gone up to the extreme of things. Showed his extreme love.

No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends. --John 15:13 (NAB)

If I am to follow Christ, then extreme things must also be done.

And so I did.

No one should seek his own advantage, but that of his neighbor. --1 Corinthians 10:24 (NAB)

If one does not know what to do, reflect upon the Cross,  where extreme love is; that extreme life may be one's lifestyle.

Less Than Calvary

.11.22.2010.
WOW! Who would have thought I will be able to walk this great a distance...

I have marked with red the roads I have traveled by feet. Mayroong masasakyang jeep at taxi, ngunit lahat ay okupado. Manila with heavy rain = severe heavy traffic. Hindi gumagalaw ang mga sasakyan. Mas mabilis pa ang paa ng tao kaysa sa gulong ng ng mga sasakyan.


Rain started to fell by 2pm, I think. We were dismissed by 515pm after our inrep. And by 6pm I still found myself standing along E.Rodriguez Sr. Avenue waiting for the most awaited Proj.2-3 jeep. After that, I realized that waiting for a jeep would mean years and I felt the need to eat. Haha. I ate at a fastfood chain and stayed there for about an hour. I thought there would be a traffic improvement, but just as it is, it is just a thought. And I waited for about half an hour. And that was it. Cars were not really moving and I am left without a choice but to start walking. Haha. Huhu. And I was not only walking like carrying my backpack and umbrella with me. I am also carrying a paperbag that has more than ten tshirts in it.


Then I started to walk. Paused for awhile to rest my arm due to the paperbag. Haha. Then walk again. I started to walk for just this reason: "Sabik na akong umuwi. Gusto ko ng magpahinga." Until I reached Judge Jimenez-Sct. Ybardolaza-Kamuning Road, that's when I was able to ride a jeepney; not the Proj.2-3 one. I took another route just to get home. Haha. I got home by 815pm.


3 hours in the making, just to get home. When it would just normally take me half an hour. My "Lakad Para Maka-uwi" taught me a lot of things:


1. I was asking myself, "Bakit ganito? Bakit super trapik?! Bakit walang masakyan?! Bakit kailangang maglakad?!" And I further said, "Ang hirap hirap ng sitwasyon ko!" Imagine me with a backpack, then holding the umbrella at one hand, let's say at the right. Then on my left is the paperbag. That I may not pause from walking due to the paperbag's weight, I have to juggle both the umbrella and the paperbag from between hands. 


While I was walking, I saw a woman holding an umbrella in her left hand and on her right a not-yet-one-year-old infant, I think. And that thing humbled me. "Ako na nahihirapan kayang magpapalit-palit sa dalawang kamay ng aking mga bitbit. Pero 'yung babaeng 'yun kahit anong gusto niya hindi niya pwedeng ipagpalit-palit ng kamay yung bata at 'yung payong. Kapag ginawa niya 'yun, mauulanan 'yung bata. Kapag ginawa niya 'yun, baka masaktan 'yung bata." That thing I saw made me accept my situation. It helped me shut my mouth from asking why.


2. While walking, I prayed "Lord! Your plans are better than mine. What is it that you want to show me?" That was the first that that had happened to me. (I have not experienced Ondoy at school, so I don't know.) Truly, the word of God is strength to human heart. I remembered the verse:

My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong. --2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NAB)

No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it. --1 Corinthians 10:13 (NAB)

I was near to developing a wound at my left foot due to my shoes. And at the same time my feet, or my entire lower extremities, rather, is getting weary. That I knew I was near to develop a wound, I told myself that I need to have an adhesive bandage (band-aid). Haha. Si LORD laging on time and on place! After realizing the demand, I saw the supply. I was standing, twenty steps away from a drugstore!

3. I continued to walk. I remembered the EXTREME LOVE session. Kuya Cocoi asked, "Are you part of the generation who is willing to suffer for the love and cause of Christ?" As I remembered kuya Cocoi's question, I remembered my answer. And that as I have answered, I must live out my "YES". As I consider the things that are happening as part of my redemptive suffering, I offer it up to GOD that though it cannot, in any way, equate unto Jesus Christ's Cross, I may find it fulfilling.

4. Also, as I continue on walking and juggling the things I carry, I suddenly realized "this is less than calvary". My experience is far less than what happened to Jesus. My experience of pain, tiredness, and all cannot be compared to what Christ has done. That I am not in the right place to complain. Rather, I am in the right place to humble myself for what Christ has done.


Now, that I am writing (typing) this, it made me further realize that GOD's extreme love really do encompass our situations of highness and lowness. That HE can be found and be magnified by a heart who is willing to glorify His Name! This reminds me that the Cross of Christ is foolishness to nonbelievers; but is wisdom and strength to those who believe.


Post Scriptum. As I walk the following morning, I laughed saying, "Ang sakit sakit ng paa ko." Haha. And as I rode a jeepney taking me to the streets I was able to walk, all I said was, "WOW! Nalakad ko 'yan kagabi! Grabe!"


Naglevel-up ako sa paglalakad. Haha.
Baka i-level up ko din itong blog na ito by writing a "Part 2". Ang haba na kasi.